Meeting King Diamond — keith r foster

The actual meeting lasted no more than forty-five seconds. Keep that in mind. Worthwhile? Yes. Interesting? Yes. But still, forty-five seconds.

I had a ticket for the ‘King Diamond Meet and Greet VIP experience’ (a gift from my wife), which any concertgoer knows are more and more prevalent these days. The driving finances are simple: the rise of Spotify and like-minded streaming services mean that recording artists can no longer sustain a career on record sales alone, so they need to tour. What better way to make a tour profitable than increase artist access through VIP experiences?

On arrival, I received a bag with a few items in it (a signed poster, drawstring bag and ‘special item’ that turned out to be a King Diamond scarf) and instructions to cue up at 8:30 along the side entry to the stage. The line started to swell around 8:15 so I cut my viewing of Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats to one song, listening to the rest while in line.

Thirty minutes later, the line started to move, and over the subsequent twenty minutes it progressed through what felt like half of Anaheim. Out of the concert hall and up the backstage steps, into the parking lot and winding around pop-up tents, then doubling back and snaking around a few more tents before a final line-up to re-enter the arena from the backstage entrance. This was when line advanced at a slow clip, otherwise known as the ‘person at a time’ pace, a sure sign I was getting closer to the meet and greet itself.

Leading up to the event, a friend or two asked “what will you say to King Diamond?” Historically I’ve performed poorly in these situations, often saying stupid things like “You’re Doctor J” (which is a one hundred percent true statement I said to Doctor J). I got suggestions like ‘you should ask if Mercyful Fate’s getting back together’ but come on man, I would never ask that. I settled on a simple, complimentary phrase and stored it away for the moment. Over the next few minutes, the line snaked past a few important-looking doors and soon after, I stood at the head of the line. From my angle I could see a line of people inside, figuring that given the amount of lines I stood in, one final line of a few people stood between me and King Diamond.

When a fan in front walked out of the room, I heard ‘Next’ get called and took a few steps to get in the final line to meet King Diamond. This is when I realized I made two errors. The first is that King Diamond is not only the name of the iconic metal singer, it’s also the name of the band fronted by that iconic singer. The second is that the ‘line of a few people’ was not of fans, it was of the band members in King Diamond/ Every member of that band, including King Diamond himself, was waiting on me. In fact, said frontman of the band with his namesake stood with the type of anticipatory tilt usually seen on someone peering up a street to check for arriving buses. Except it was at me.

One by one, I shook each member of the band’s hand (again, remember that this meet and greet happened in 2019), shaking Andy LaRocque (guitarist and songwriter for much of the band material)’s hand. I then exclaimed “Andy! The legend!” because, as stated before, I’m lousy in these situations. After that I shook King Diamond’s hand.

“It is nice to meet you,” King Diamond said.

“Likewise,” I said.

Friendly reminder this photo was taken in December 2019.

(I need to make one last aside here, which is I am 6 foot 3. This makes meetings with non-NBA celebrities a little weird, as I’m almost always taller than the icons I meet. I also walk around with the general impression that celebrities are somewhere between ten and fifteen feet tall so it’s always weird to realize I’m taller than them.).

“The new song [Masquerade of Madness] sounds great,” I said.

“Well there are plenty more where that came from, my friend,” King Diamond said.

That ended the conversation, after all I know my place and know how these things work. Yes, the line above was my prepared line - complimentary and brief. I lined up for the photograph with the band and received my ‘signed by the band’ poster (signed beforehand, for maximum efficiency, which happens all the time), then left the room to allow the others in line their few moments in the presence of a metal icon (and the band with the same name).